Jay-Z and Oprah Merge Bodies To Create 400 Lb. Entertainment Behemoth

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Zopra Lord
Zopra Lord’s gender is as of yet unknown but declared by its publicist to be powerful and terrifying. © 2015 Reuters International

In an ambitious move to aggressively corner the entertainment industry on all fronts, billionaire rapper turned entrepreneur Jay-Z and famed media magnate Oprah have merged bodies in what business experts are calling a shrewd and grotesque merger.

Competitors were alarmed at how the new monstrosity, tentatively named Zopra Lord, might shake up the faltering entertainment business landscape. “Look at what they’ve been able to achieve on their own,” said Kanye West. “Together they’ll be unstoppable, and powerful enough to lift a refrigerator.”

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