We’ve all heard of The Super Bowl: funny commercials, nachos, and your neighbor Ted hacking down your door in a bath salts-fueled rage that could rival even the most terrifying manic hallucination. But did you know the Super Bowl is also about–get this–SPORTS?
It’s true! The long-forgotten culmination of this day was once a barbaric event that involved socioeconomically disadvantaged minorities doing permanent damage to one another for spectacle! Good thing it’s all just Doritos and Danica Patrick now, right? ♫