Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning– Who Would You Fuck?

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It’s the age old question–who would you rather make love to, or possibly tease into renting a hotel room then end up crying at for six hours?

This time two of the best quarterbacks of their generation face off in the bedroom. So–Tom Brady and Peyton Manning–Who Would You Fuck?

OPINION: Peyton Manning

Sure, the obvious choice is Brady. Strong chin, handsome face, and plastic bones that defy straightforward definitions of gamesmanship. But a quick glance into Manning’s tortured eyes hints at a deep, tortured dissatisfaction that would inevitably lead into more adventurous “downfield plays” and “deep routes.” My money’s on Manning to read my nips like a defensive line and “leverage mismatches to create gratifying touchdowns.”

OPINION: Tom Brady

All American? Check. FOUR Super Bowl Rings? Quadruple check. But here’s something you didn’t know–Brady was born without fingers, and during his Quinceañera was kidnapped by Dr. Robotnik as a subject for a totally crazy science experiment. Of course, as we all know, Robotnik went mad with power and eventually decided to run for President as a Green Party candidate. What a lunatic. But Brady was left with powerful microappendages that can withstand temperatures of up to 1500˚ Fahrenheit! Guess what? That’s great news for my vagina. ♫

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